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One time, I got seated next to someone who talked nonstop, while laughing on the phone. In the entire carriage where no one else was talking, I had to be seated next to THAT person. Sometimes, it would be next to a group of women going to the city to hang out and they just had to take that early train out. 

Shopping, THAT early?

It's not just noise that could not make me sleep.

Have you ever felt so tired and worked up that your body does not shift to rest mode anymore?

There are also those faces of fellow passengers when they know they just had a brilliant idea, or those who look happy to be with their colleagues and they talk animatedly about their accomplishments.

Now, if only they spoke in a language I could fully understand, THEN MAYBE I would also find their conversations amusing.

I don't like to be frustrated, but I don't want to be sedated.

It's like trying to sleep in a bed on fire,

a change must come no matter how.

- "Bed On Fire", Ralf Gyllenhammar

...is just about the precise explanation of how to define rants.

Then again, even this can be experienced in silence. Who or what helps endure this kind of stress?

Let us see: the liquor store around the corner, and the cigarette sticks that forever warn you of getting killed by them but continue to be sold for you to smoke, anyway.

There's chocolate, for the not-so-weight-conscious.

There's also gluttony, for people who just don't care at all.

There's running, for those who want to get away...and only more pain for those who are brave enough to battle it out.

So, go ahead. Choose your redundancy.

2012

It's almost the third day of the New Year, 2012 and I still seem pretty speechless about things. Like other people who are active with social networks, and someone who actually created a blog: I feel that I should be saying something worth any reader's time. Should I even attempt to do so?

Maybe. Maybe not. I got my mind concentrated on coming home to Manila to really care about resolutions and saying something really nice. However, I did attempt to make a comment on spreading peace this year. World Peace. The stereotypical answer of any beauty pageant candidate, if asked what she wishes for.

Somewhere in my heart, I do wish the same.

Then again, I am not a beauty pageant candidate.

A new year to me is like midlife-crisis on an annual basis. The questions come to me before the clocks hit twelve:

Audio of Choice for this entry: Chris Daughtry's Home

Often times, we are faced with emotions that are deceived with smiling faces, or a smiling face that suddenly breaks into a long, unsettling stare onto a wall, on the floor, or through a window.

Then, a long sigh. Frustration? We can never be too sure.

In a cafe around the corner this morning, a man and a boy walked in at about 10am. They both ordered drinks, and did not talk much. They just shared the table, but looked sideways out the window. One could feel that there was something wrong. An observant person would be able to instantly guess that something was not right, but only someone who has been through an ordeal would be able to perfectly guess what was going on. One can only hope that it was not a tragedy that they shared at that moment. It was too quiet for a morning in a cafe, just a couple of days before Christmas.

Hence, I sometimes avoid people. I do not want to see such emotions. I also avoid the sadness, because I can barely handle my own. When someone is in pain, I am compelled to do something about it. That's a terrible weakness.

On the way home tonight, I came across a street lamp with a bulb that needs changing. At first, there was that utter silence of the cold winter night. The street light started to flicker, and the bulb began humming a little, signaling its need to be replaced. It stayed on and flickered again, then snow fell.

I stood under the flickering street lamp for awhile and saw glimpses of reality on the few times the light actually worked. I looked down at the pavement and saw shadows of everything around me where the light shone.

I have envisioned many ways to write the first entry to this blog, but only in this perfect moment when that light shone, that it gave me a perspective I wish to see, even beyond my comprehension.

Well, one does not really need to understand things well enough to talk about it. Sometimes, one just needs to write what one is willing to understand.

Thus, this.

For what its worth, the video below was the song playing this morning: Band Aid's "Do They Know its Christmas?" back in 1984. God Jul och Gott Nytt År!