Playing Time Against My Troubles

About a decade ago, there was a time when I listened perpetually to Dave Matthews Band. The song that was on top of my list was the acoustic version of #41, Live at Luther College, with Tim Reynolds. The first few chords hitting the guitar when #41 started playing on my then-new cd player sent shivers down my spine. It's the type of song that one would not easily forget.

Today, after 12 years, I listened to it again. I kept repeating the song, wondering whatever made me like it. I closed my eyes and played it one more time. I was then reminded of the pain, and how much the sound of the guitar and the words eased my troubled soul. I thought back to how difficult it had been. One could say that it was almost melodramatic. 

There are certain things that keep you alive and fighting inside, and some songs are meant to have that effect. This type of music tends to pave a road that leads to that precise spot in your soul and punctures it, forcing you to cry repeatedly, and feel better afterwards.

I used to play for all of the loneliness that nobody notices now.

Didn't I just say melodramatic?

When I was younger, I always wondered what would happen to me after a decade. Would I succumb to this pain and let go of everything, or would I rise from this? I have an answer now, and it was much better than I expected. I always had faith from the One above, cheesy as it may sound, and faith in myself.

The feeling I now get while reading the lyrics to #41, incoherent as it may seem, made me remember the self-doubt during my young and troubled years, and how I have let go of it. These memories gave me hope that I can once again surpass the unpleasantries of the challenges ahead. 

I understand that there will always be hardships, I believe that now. All because of one song. 

Why won't you run into the rain and play?

Let the tears splash all over you.