How Would Sheldon Cooper React?

I love trains almost as much as Sheldon Cooper does from The Big Bang Theory; the cozy chairs, the feeling that I am being rocked to sleep like a baby, and its choo-choo sound.

I travel 3 hours everyday (home to on-the-job-training office and back, walking included). Longer, if I get lazy and end up not walking fast. So, I sleep on the train. A lot.

One time, I had a long night trying to fall asleep (I get so tired sometimes that I could not sleep anymore). I had to get up early, then the train was full so I had to stand up the entire time. A mother and a baby in the stroller was beside me with an elderly woman (probably her mother or mother-in-law). Imagine my frustration when the train stopped and everyone had to go down at the station, the mother with the baby said "MAYBE you can help," as if she knew me, almost with an eyebrow raised, and without "please".

Of course, I will. I'm the type to go out of my way to help people. Nobody needs to tell me what to do. I looked at her and started to reach down.

I tried, but I couldn't figure out what part to grab so the stroller went down hard on the first step (there were about three, and it was one of those classy and elevated, old trains). The baby let out a loud cry, the mother hissed a little, and I smiled (or so I think I did). I was finally able to find a spot to lift the stroller out of the train and onto the platform and she thanked me, and I think I smirked a little.

Maybe it was a bad morning, maybe it was the language barrier but part of myself wanted to believe that I actually enjoyed making that baby cry for the way her mother almost commanded me to help her. Maybe we were just all stressed, but I think that is just lame. I particularly make an effort to put on a smile despite difficult days, and I do not expect them to react the same way. However, I would appreciate it if people just dropped the fucking attitude. By this, I meant everyone, regardless of ethnicity.

This incident just made me wonder what Sheldon Cooper would do given his passive and non-aggressive behavior which I used to have. I do not want to think that staying in this country made me mean towards others, but it definitely changed me.

Anyway, straying away from all seriousness made me think of possible Sheldon replies.


Woman: MAYBE you can help.

Sheldon Reply 1: By that logic means MAYBE I cannot help either.

Sheldon Reply 2: I am a very smart man. Don’t you think that if I were able to help, I’d know it?

A little help from my brother generated some more possible Sheldon replies:

Sheldon Reply 3: Why, Certainly ... which specific law of Physics should I use to help you maneuver more easily ?

Sheldon Reply 4: Why, Certainly! If you would just wait, I am currently working on a new design that would revolutionize the way little parasites are transported.

Sheldon Reply 5: Why, I have PHDs in all 3 letter combinations you could think of. Lifting that outdated contraption would be a waste of my intelligence. Besides, I don't have the upper body strength in terms of mass to ratio, multipiled by the gravitationl force of the Earth at 9.8 m/second squared tangent to the level of the surface you are standing on.